Wish I knew why
by mon-amourr
Summary: Castiel heard that Sam always listened the same song and he is to find out why.  Songfic of the song Losing my way from Justin Timberlake. Don't own the song or SPN Oneshot


Castiel saw that Sam was sorry for his deeds. He saw that whatever Sam did he did it for his brother and try to redeem himself. When Sam was with Dean and Castiel in the Impala. He always listen to his Ipod and at the sound every time, it sounded for Castiel that he listen the same song the whole time.

When Sam and Dean were on a hunt. He picked up Sam forgotten Ipod and listen to that 1 song.

_Hi my name is Bob and I work at my job  
>I make 40 some dollars a day<br>I used to be the man in my home town  
>Until I started to lose my way<br>It all goes back to when I dropped out of school  
>Havin fun I was living the life<br>But now I got a problem with that little white rocks  
>See I cant put down the pipe<em>

_And it is breaking me down  
>Watching the world spin 'round<br>While my dreams fall down  
>Is anybody out there?<br>It is breaking me down  
>No more friends around<br>And my dreams fall down  
>Is anybody out there?<em>

_Can anybody out there hear me?  
>Cause I can't seem to hear myself<br>Can anybody out there see me?  
>Cause I can't seem to see myself<br>There's gotta be a heaven somewhere  
>Can you save me from this hell?<br>Can anybody out there feel me?  
>Cause I can't seem to feel myself<em>

_Losing my way  
>Keep losing my way<br>Keep losing my way  
>Can you help me find my way?<br>Losing my way  
>Keep losing my way<br>Keep losing my way  
>Can you help me find my way?<em>

Castiel couldn't understand why Sam listened to this so much. It was beautiful, that was true. But it was so sad, why would Sam listen to something like that. Castiel had to ask Sam the first time he saw Sam alone. And Castiel listened further to the song.  
><em><br>Now you gotta understand  
>I was a family man<br>I woulda done anything for my own  
>But I couldn't get a grip of my new found rich<br>So I ended up all alone  
>I remember were I was when I got my first buzz<br>See I thought I was living the life  
>And the craziest thing is I probably never know<br>The colour of my daughter's eyes_

_And it is breaking me down  
>Watching the world spin 'round<br>While my dreams fall down  
>Is anybody out there?<br>It is breaking me down  
>No more friends around<br>And my dreams fall down  
>Is anybody out there?<em>

_Can anybody out there hear me?  
>Cause I can't seem to hear myself<br>Can anybody out there see me?  
>Cause I can't seem to see myself<br>There's gotta be a heaven somewhere  
>Can you save me from this hell?<br>Can anybody out there feel me?  
>Cause I can't seem to feel myself<em>

_Losing my way  
>Keep losing my way<br>Keep losing my way  
>Can you help me find my way?<br>Losing my way  
>Keep losing my way<br>Keep losing my way  
>Can you help me find my way?<em>

Castiel didn't hear when Sam was coming inside. He was so into the song that he didn't hear the door opening and closing.

" Hey Cas, what are you doing with my Ipod? Cas?" Sam saw that Castiel was so into the song that he knew he wouldn't response.__

_Oh my God please forgive me (father hear my prayer)  
>Cause I know I've done some wrong in this life<br>If I could do it all again  
>Have just one more chance<br>I'd take all those wrongs and make them right_

_Can anybody out there hear me?  
>Cause I can't seem to hear myself<br>Can anybody out there see me?  
>Cause I can't seem to see myself<br>There's gotta be a heaven somewhere  
>Can you save me from this hell?<br>Can anybody out there feel me?  
>Cause I can't seem to feel myself<em>

_Can anybody out there hear me?  
>Cause I can't seem to hear myself<br>Can anybody out there see me?  
>Cause I can't seem to see myself<br>There's gotta be a heaven somewhere  
>Can you save me from this hell?<br>Can anybody out there feel me?  
>Cause I can't seem to feel myself<em>

_Losing my way  
>Keep losing my way<br>Keep losing my way  
>Can you help me find my way?<br>Losing my way  
><em>Keep losing my way  
>Keep losing my way<br>Can you help me find my way?

When the song was over, Castiel undid the earphones and then he saw Sam sitting on the bed. He asked immediately the first question that was bothering him. " Sam why are you listening the same song every time we are in the Impala? "

" Ehm.. You see Cas, it's very simple. I can find myself in that song. Every time I drank demon blood and then it needed to get out of my system. It through me to a hell. But nobody cared how I felt. I was just an abomination, even that I needed just as much help as Dean did. And I drank it again and again, so I kept ' losing my way'. Do you understand. I didn't get any help and I didn't saw and hear myself as you guys did. I thought I was doing good and not evil things." Sam said and then looked down to the ground.

Then Castiel understood. Sam stood in everything alone and he knew he had a problem and nobody helped him. Maybe it could help Sam if Castiel told him about his feelings. But Castiel was never good with feelings so he did the first thing he could come up with. He kissed Sam.

Sam was by this a little surprised, but didn't disliked it. He always thought that the Angel was kind of hot and nice so yeah Sam had a thing for Castiel. So after a second of thinking he kissed Castiel back.

After a few second Castiel pulled away. " You shall never do those things alone Samuel. I will help you and stand by you when you need it. If that is alright with you." " I would like that Cas, I do need a little help sometimes and I would like it if it were from you."

Castiel smiled at Castiel and Sam smiled back and then hugged Castiel and kissed him on the lips while Castiel kissed back.

"Okay Sam, Then I will gladly help you with this and more. So that you know" An he and Sam went to bed and lay down to sleep.


End file.
